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theemptyholmes:

theemptyholmes:

theemptyholmes:

If you ever think your life is bad just remember that when my sister was born my mum threw up on her

She knows

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She’s still pissed off at me and blame all of you

(via beyoncevevo)

Source: holnnes
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lanashiftdelrey:

being the third wheel

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(via trust)

Source: lanashiftdelrey
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fat-amy:

me: mom, when’s the dinner ready?

mom: why, are you hungry?

HAHA NO MOM I NEED THAT FOR MY COLLEGE APPLICATION 

(via orgasm)

Source: fat-amy
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bagellie:

benefits of being friends with me

  • shitty jokes whenever you ask for them
  • shitty jokes whenever you don’t ask for them

(via asvprock)

Source: bagellie
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trigger-happy-buttmunch:

so there’s a pigeon i used to pass by in my old neighborhood all the time and he was really fat because people would just toss him food and literally he sat in the middle of the sidewalk and people would just step over him, he wouldn’t even flinch. seriously you could sit down next to him and just feed him and he would be chill.
he was there every day and all us locals would affectionately refer to him as ‘lard-ass’

trigger-happy-buttmunch:

so there’s a pigeon i used to pass by in my old neighborhood all the time and he was really fat because people would just toss him food and literally he sat in the middle of the sidewalk and people would just step over him, he wouldn’t even flinch. seriously you could sit down next to him and just feed him and he would be chill.

he was there every day and all us locals would affectionately refer to him as ‘lard-ass’

(via miscaitlin)

Source: hecklord